Nine out of Ten Torontonians agree: Man Yung is the Energizer BunnySome followers with significant others go to milongas to dance with their significant other and other people. Some followers go to milongas to dance with everyone except their significant other. Other followers go to milongas to get away from their significant other.
I happen to be one of those followers who go to milongas just to dance with her significant other.
This is because I happen to enjoy dancing with Man Yung. This is also because Man Yung is more than a handful. He can dance all night; I cannot. So if I have any energy, if I can still stand in my Comme Il Fauts without wincing in pain, I dance with Man Yung.
This creates some problems in the milonga. We are still in North America after all - and many leaders still ask for a dance the "old fashioned way" - i.e. go right up to a follower and open their mouths and ask. Even if the follower has attended the milonga with her significant other. Even if the follower is not looking at them. Even if the follower is clearly preoccupied with playing with her iPhone, writing copious notes, talking with her friends, eating rum cake etc. etc.
I wish that the cabeceo was the general rule instead of the exception in Toronto, because if that was in effect, it would save the poor gentlemen quite a bit of embarrassment when I turn to them and say - "No."
Another problem that happens is when Man Yung invites a follower who came to the milonga with their significant other (asking permission from the significant other, of course) to dance. In this situation, the significant other of the invitee may either 1) feel an obligation that he has to ask the significant other (me) of the inviter to dance or 2) feel that for reciprocity's sake, he is entitled to dance with with the significant other (me) of the inviter.
While I thank the follower for dancing with Man Yung (as indeed I thank every follower from the bottom of my heart for dancing with Man Yung - the way he dances is enough to wear out ten wives, let alone one!), my answer to her significant other still has to remain "No."
"But you're so mean, Irene!" sobbed Man Yung as he prepared the soup. "If you don't agree to dance with the significant others of these followers that means they might not be allowed to dance with me next time! I really enjoy dancing with these ladies!"
"Too bad, Man Yung," I responded. "We have more followers than leaders in this community. I'm doing my bit to alleviate the follower/leader disparity problem in Toronto by not dancing and by letting you dance as much as you want to in the milonga. However, if you have already worn out all the single followers you proceed with all the attached followers at your own risk!"
